I didn't realise what was happening when I eventually surrendered and admitted that I couldn't control my eating any more. I thought it was the worst moment of my life. I couldn't see any way forward.
In my eyes I needed to be the 'right size' in order to live.
I had tried by every means known to me at the time to lose weight. And I did - but put it on again with more each time. I felt a failure, a useless person, knowing what I should do and yet I couldn't even try anymore.
I joined the 12 Step programme, and met others like me and we journeyed together, day-by-day, into recovery.
I learned that my real problem was my state of mind and I would overcome it by surrender not by will power. I found a Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, and my life changed immeasurably and continues to amaze me.
The path of recovery has not been easy, I still need my programme as I go through life learning through my mistakes, and listening to others as they share their experience strength and hope.